A piece of “Black Like Sunday”

Cold new moon grows
Grey city sky,
Candy apple grey
The fine art of imperfection
Another Dirty Sunday
The radio’s on, Listening
Hearts full of memories and
Memories full of accidents
And nothing, comes from nothing,comes from nothing

© Carlson 2013



Little Girl walks into a local tavern looking for Daddy.  It’s been a couple of days since she’s seen him and Mommy wasn’t feeling well.   She was scared for Mommy because when she get’s like this “the bad things and the owies make Mommy cry.”  Little Girl finds Daddy snuggled up with a warm drink and a cold lady telling stories that never happened.

“Daddy can you come home now?  Mommy’s arms are sad and the grumblies are hurting my tummy.”

“Little Girl why do you bother me so?  You know this is my secret time.  Mommy just needs more medicine to make the sunshine come.  Here; give her these Little Girl.  That should make her keep the meanies away until I get home.  We’ll take her to the Dr. tomorrow. Now go away and play.”

“I love you Daddy.  Come home please and tell me stories.”

“Bye Bye Little Girl.”

With her head down and tears staining her soft dirty cheek; Little Girl skipped through the street that was littered with pot holes filled with gasoline rainbows and bubbles.  In her soft supple hand was her dolly she carried everywhere. They were friends.  Abigail was her name and she new everything – always.  Around the corner from the tavern was an open field filled with pretty flowers that weeds would try to eat and soft green grass to lay on.  There, Little Girl would pick a flower, one for her and one for Abigail, then lay down to count the clouds or stars depending.  At that moment it was clouds.  Little Girl and Abigail would make up stories to go along with the pictures dancing across the sky.  Stories of Princesses, dragons, fluffy marshmallows giants reading books, and big soft pillows. They dreamt the day away only to be interrupted by the grumblies in their tummies.  In a shot Little Girl and Abigail ran home.  Up the hill aways sat a two bedroom house teetering on the brink of desperation and shattered dreams of yellow paint.  The white picket fence had fallen down years ago and the paint on the house had long faded and chipped away with each passing nightmare.  As Little Girl and Abigail got to the front steps they heard Mommy crying and pleading.  They ran in to find Mommy rocking back and forth on the couch talking desperately to her arms.

“Please go?  I don’t want to talk anymore.  You’re hurting me.  Get out please.”

“Mommy I have the medicine.  Daddy says he’ll be here tomorrow to take you to the Dr.  He says this will make the sunshine come.  The meanies don’t like the sunshine remember Mommy.”

“Little Girl? The meanies never go away.  The sunshine just makes them sleep. Sshhhhh… Stay quiet… give me those and then Mommy can play.  My arms hurt.  I think I scratched to hard; look.”

Mommy pulled the towel open to reveal the open wound so deep the white meat was oozing.  She turned and grabbed the bottle of dark liquid that Mommy and Daddy both called secret juice and she put some in a spoon and lit it with a fire stick.  It bubbled and fizzed and made Mommy giggle. Little Girl got scared and ran back outside, down the street to her special field.

“It looks like rain is gonna come Abigail?  Maybe we should hunker down under the tree?  I like the tree.  Let’s go.”

Little Girl ran to the tree and her and Abigail sat and watched the storm roll through.  Abigail says the rain helps clean the earth and makes bad things better.  Little Girl says it’s just nice during… but afterwards it’s just as dirty and stinky as always.  They sat for an hour then the storm passed and off they went to kick the rainbows in the street and make the bubbles pop.  This was Little Girls favorite after the rain game. Abigail liked it too. It was then that she noticed Daddy walking by.

“Hi Daddy.  Is it tomorrow yet?”

“Little Girl?  You are wet.  No it’s not tomorrow but I don’t feel like playing.  That lady wasn’t nice and I’m hurt.”

“Can I help Daddy?”

“No Little Girl.  Go Home.”

“But Mommy is crying and hurt too.”

“Then maybe we should all go home and feel better.”

“Yay!!!! Come on Abigail.”

The three of them started off for home.

“Daddy why are you hurt?  Did the meanies come for you too.”

“No Little Girl.  Daddy’s secret friend poked my side and took my money. I need to get fixed up so Daddy’s secret juice doesn’t fall out.”

“Ok Daddy.  Should I poke her back for you?”

“No Little Girl.  Let’s just go home.”

Back inside all four of them laid down on the couch and cried. Mommy and Daddy both slept a long time.  Holding each other, bleeding and every now and then a long sob would come bubbling out.  Little Girl then noticed the grumblies were still in her tummy. So she went to the cupboard because she knew the fridge just had secret juice in cans and the drawers just had Mommy’s sauce she puts in her pokers.  The pokers made Mommy soft, slumpy, slurry and silly.  But it made the meanies go away just like the stuff the Dr. gives her in the little cups.

In the cupboard Little Girl found marshmallows and gram crackers.

“Yum.  Let’s go Abigail.  It’s not dark yet.  Mommy and Daddy smell funny.  Hee hee hee. ”

Little Girl and Abigail ran back to their field.  Little girl picked a spot, a flower for both of them, and then laid out the goodies.  There they sat telling stories and filling up there souls with yummies.  A little while had passed and the street lights awoke, the moon began to smile and the sun laid down to sleep.  Little Girl and Abigail headed for home.  As they skipped up to the house Little Girl saw 3 cars.  One of them was a police car.  Little Girl was soooo excited.  Uncle Ho Ho was there to visit.  Little Girl held Abigail so very tight and ran as fast as she could.  Uncle Ho Ho was the best.  He always brought smiles, stories, treats to eat and a new dress for her and Abigail.

“Uncle Ho Ho!!!!!!!”

“Oh Little Girl and Lady Abigail how are we this evening?  Were you two at the field?”

“Yes!  We saw amazing pictures today in the sky.  The puddles in the road were filled with rainbows but Mommy and Daddy is hurt – Mommy has the meanies again – Daddy got poked and….”

‘Whoa Whoa settle up a bit honey.  Mommy and Daddy are ok.  We’re here to help them and you and Ms. Abigail.  I’d like you to meet a very nice friend of mine.  I work with her from time to time.  She has a special castle that has a lot of food, toys, beds and story books for children.  Would you like to meet her?  Psst, but just our little secret, come closer… I think she’s a fairy godmother.  Sssshhhh.”

“Woooow…  Yeah I wanna meet her.  Where’s Mommy and Daddy going?  Why are they getting into that car?”

“Oh Little Girl, they’re going to get some help.  They need to be fixed up. Here’s my friend, her name is Mimi.”

Uncle Ho Ho leans over and whispers into Mimi’s ear, “Her name is Abigail but she only answers to Little Girl.  She gave her doll her name, Abigail, after her Mom OD’d 3 years ago and then tried to kill herself in front her.  No one could keep up with her treatment with the psychologist and they couldn’t afford to send her to a facility. I did what I could do but the system is slow.”

“Hi Little Girl.  My name is Mimi. Hello to you as well Ms. Abigail.”

“Hi. Do you really have a castle?”

Uncle Ho Ho winked to Mimi.

“It’s a very big house and it looks like a castle to some of the children I’m sure.  Would you like to come and see?”

“Yes! Yes I would.  My tummy has grumblies in it and I’m sleepy too.  So is Abigail.  Do you have beds there?”

“Why yes we do.  We also have games, teachers…”

“You have school there!  I wanna go I wanna go!”

“Ok Ok then, do you have some things you would like to bring?”

“I only have Abigail and this dress.  I’m ready.”

“Oh you sweet little girl.  Come on.  Give your Uncle a hug.  You’ll see him tomorrow.”

“Bye bye Uncle Ho Ho.  Thanks for letting me go to a castle. * Big bear hugs and kisses* See ya tomorrow!”

“Oh boy you bet Little Girl.  You look out for her Lady Abigail.  Bye sweet heart.”

In climbed Little Girl and Abigail.  As the car door shut and the engine hummed Little Girl looked out the window and saw her field lit up by the street light. She knew her dream was coming true.  Her and Abigail were going to a castle with big fluffy pillows, books and lots of things to eat. They’ll probably be marshmallow giants too?

With love, as always Dear Diary,


© Carlson 2013